We did it all First !

Dark mutterings in the Muse household about writers block and lines being drawn. Have I taken on too much by creating two Blogs? It is not the volume of output that bothers me, merely the quality and I have been scratching my head in frustration, knowing I have to separate my thoughts and put them in the right order, in the right place...ggggaaaggghhh!

I have had an interesting couple of days catching up with almost forgotten friends from my past. I was so young at the time but as we get older, the memories become stronger. Funny, those moments in time surface so readily when you cannot even remember what you had for dinner last night! Oh bugger, I sound positively geriatric now...

Then an unexpected contact with a boyfriend from my teenage years. Wow, that was pretty spacey. He was older than me, not by much, I don't think....so it must be very weird for him to have to comprehend my status as a grandmother. It is almost as though we are catching up with our parents...kicking screaming and shouting all the way of course! If I had to work in a shop selling alcohol, I would have to ask about 90 per cent of the clientele for I.D. My ability to 'age' a person has been lost and I find myself staring at impossibly young mothers pushing prams. Then I shake my head, get a grip and realise...we did it all first!

My older children are very fond of parenting me and telling me what I can and cannot do. They have been doing this as a matter of course, throughout their lives. How did I manage to bring up two well balanced, thoughtful, gentle, admirable, individuals when I have been such a 'heller'? I mean don't get me wrong, I did the maternal thing in my 20's....actually I didn't, I went back to work as quickly as was decent, after giving birth! The Git has had much more time with me. Just recently I have realized that I am a person in my own right. Not just a mum or a grandmother and have been busy making up for lost time.

This has involved lots of things including; not eating all the pies,going to hairdressers and keeping still whilst they make you lovely, letting a Beautician do unspeakable things to you and trying not to fall asleep in your dinner when you date a boring bloke! The flip side of this is chatting up/being chatted up by lots of interesting guys, creating this Blog and finding a new confidence within myself.

So as I approach the slippery slope to my next birthday I am thankful for my family, my children and my wonderful friends.

Namaste

Muse x