I was talking to my lovely girlfriend Prenders about swearing the other day. I was complaining that the Brits were quite frankly CRAP at it. We only manage one word per insult and most of them begin with B, F ,C or W. How boring. I love how other nations swear.
The Irish are masters. They don't bother with our pale and uninteresting curses. let me give you some examples...
You feckin' self polluter..
Arse Picker.
Truffle Snuffler
Bollix
He was a great Ride...
Ask me arse...
and so on. However the Gods of the curse must be the Arabic nations. Stuff like 'your mother was a camel and your father was a donkey' or 'you are the dirt on my shoes' or 'may a million locusts descend upon your field'. Oh! and those are the ones I made up. From Bulgaria comes the phrase 'your mother sucks bears in the forest' or the wonderful 'you are as ugly as a salad'. See! We are all pants at swearing in the UK. Now for some of my own.
Flower Sniffer
Wine Spitter
Button Burster
Lamp Switcher
Computer Cacker
Heel Breaker...
The list is endless. Bit of a shame that I revert to the old Brit type behind the wheel. Even the 13 year old has stopped laughing at the C word.
Must try harder...
Muse x
Muse - another great off the wall blog, but you've got it wrong. What you've blogged about is insults not swearing. We Brits lead the world when it comes to srearing, we've even have a book on it - get yourself a copy of the 'Profanisaurus'. It's kept me amused for years.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work.
Ken Kirkham
Thank You Ken! :-) I do Love you! Looking it up as I speak! I was thinking of binning Donut Child but as DL - writer and nutter that created Benidorm has now quoted it on Twitter, I suppose I must carry on. YOU have excellent taste! x
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