Stepping from Narnia to Hell!

I have been away for the last week in Warwickshire having a large lot of fun on Folk on The Water. I am just digesting all that went on and am feeling pretty exhausted but will start to write my FOTW Blog next week. For now, you guys are going to have to put up with a rant. For those of a nervous disposition, please look away now.

The Git and I had a great journey up to Leamington Spa and thought that going back would be a breeze. After all we were taken to the station by Barge. I kid you not. We moored at the bank and Dutch took us up about 10 steps and there was the station. How cool is that. It was like walking from Narnia to Hell! Actually I cannot take credit for that comment it was one of Dutch's!

We got on a small train to Reading. We were on there for an hour and unfortunatley had to sit by a big growlie guy who had three kids with him. The kids were pretty well behaved but I think he had tourettes. An hour of screaming, swearing and random bouts of bad singing followed. There were also two very fretful newborns jostling for attention above the din. Ah well thought I, we shall soon be aboard a nice swish train with food and coffee and films for The Git. It can only get better. Oops....

The aforementioned 'big swish train' looked like the Calcutta Express it had people hanging out of the windows, Tiffin Wallahs and all! The Git and I could only board in carriage D but our seats were in carriage A. Every single seat was taken. We had no option but to find our seats. We had two over stuffed bags and The Git did a magnificent job of politely hauling them through the carriages. Chivalry is indeed dead, as not one guy offered to help. Failing that, I looked so hideous after a week on the water, I was given a wide berth!

Carriage A was in sight, thank god, I could relax. Tap on right shoulder from 60 ish woman, carrying a coffee and fed up we were holding her up. 'You could sit on that seat there' she said. I was too tired to explain as by this stage we had mountaineered over several suitcases the size of a semi detatched house (I am not bloody joking) and had said excuse me (sub text - move your fucking foot you ignorant bloke) so many times we had lost the will to live. I nearly broke out the crampons at one point. Even The Git was trundling over peoples feet by this stage. Be polite, I said to myself...and just told her that I needed to find our reserved seats when left brain was telling me to punch her, HARD! Exhale...

Got to carriage A. Asked a nice guy to move out of our seats, which he did, ta chap. Obviously by then there was not a cat in hells chance of getting said bags into luggage rack. Managed to stow The Git with bags in my seat. He was such a fanatastic help and support to me, I couldn't have done it without him, thanks Joshy x. Then wandered off to find coffee and food. The buffet car was hilarious, long queue and lots of drunk and disorderly 'I can't find my seat but who gives a Feck' people. Found food and coffee, lurched back to seat, fed the git and spied an empty double seat. As I sank into it a pretty blonde girl sidled in beside me. I moved to get out and she said don't worry, just stay there. I was soooo.... bloody grateful for that little bit of TLC, thank you Sophie! As we settled down my phone rang, I said one word... 'Hello' and the lady that had tapped me on the shoulder previously stood up from her seat in front of me (groan) and hissed loudly 'this is the QUIET carriage'. My lovely Dad was on the other end, telling me that he would pick me up up. I mumbled thanks and he said ' tell that woman to shut up by the way'. Hilarious!!!

I was so stressed and damaged by this point that I really was ready to stick a pair of underpants on my head and put two pencils up my nose (note, I am not mad just a fan of Blackadder). The lovely Sophie listened to my ramblings and managed to calm me down. Thank you Sophie, I really hope I wasn't 'the nutter' on the train for you. Its a big wide world out there and despite being well travelled I quite like my little life as a Cornish Muse in our sleepy, beautiful bubble.

Musing about public transport. After that journey I have decided it should be known as Pubic transport from now on ie: not everyone wants to feel it, deal with it or look at it!

Be Careful out there

Muse x