I have been clothes shopping today. I hate clothes shopping because it causes me so much stress and angst. I had been browsing online and was loving the fashionable Maxi dresses. I am magpie like in my admiration for them. Tropical colours, promising happy days on sun kissed beaches. Not for me it seems.
Apparently I am a dwarf, I am 5ft 4 but have a 26 and a half inch inside leg, which is why I have to buy my jeans from Peacocks as I don't actually have to take them up 2 and a half foot, in order not to fall over! I remember when I was rich. I would buy a £90 pair of jeans (this is a long time ago) and take them into Soho to be altered at the cost of £100. So the Maxi dress is, sadly, not for me. I was trying some on today and I looked like a ship in full sail. Even vertiginous 5 inch, can't walk in them, heels would not help. I am depressed by this revelation.
I discussed the Maxi dress dilemma with an old girlfriend. 'Can you lend me a dress', I pleaded 'as I am a dwarf and everything in the shops just swamps me'. Being a lovely girl she agreed to pop dress in post and described it. 'Mmm sounds wonderful' said I. 'How tall are you by the way?' Oops - large faux pas as she is half and inch shorter than me! Sorry sweetheart!
I need to rant now. Short girls are not catered for these days. I have had an horrendous day trying to find dwarf clothes. The fashion is long, down to the knee tops and leggings. LEGGINGS....Noooo....I would rather poke my eye out with smelly stick! I wore leggings the first time around (she says clutching her zimmer frame) and did two pregnancies in them. Never again! Leggings and long floaty tops are for the tall and sylph like among us or those with youth on their side! Dilemma...shall I start shopping at Windsmoor or Jaeger, Debenhams or Marisota? There is a big gap in the market out there to dress 40 something women. Lets hope someone fills it, sooner rather than later.
I have been so spoiled throughout my life. For years, clothes shopping meant nipping over to the tailoress at Ay Nik in Cyprus, showing her a sketch of your dream dress and she would make it for you for far less than the high street. I remember that Debbie Kaye and myself had black satin trouser suits made when we were about 17. Well I say 'trouser suit' in a grown up manner but in reality they were spray on, don't bend over trousers and nifty little waistcoats with gold chains sewn across the back, worn with spiky black stilettos. We thought we were so glamorous. Cringe time.....
The dress predicament has been solved. I found a dress I bought last summer and only wore once. Now I remember...doh! I went through all this last summer and it took me weeks to find this dress. It's expensive and classy, but not quite my Maxi Dream Dress....come back my tailoress, all is forgiven!
By the way the reason for putting myself through all this shopping malarkey is I have a date next week...but I'm being very coy about this. Not to mention the fact that my 90 something grandmother reads this Blog. Wish me luck.
Take Care out there
Namaste
Muse x
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