It continues, The Wanderlust. I cannot help it. My brain just wants to stretch out on a beach and chill, it must be the brain talking because I have never been a sunbather. I always preferred doing dangerous things with skis, canoes and windsurfers. I have a lot of new readers on my Blog (thank you, lovely people) so I suppose I ought to return to my roots and explain the origins of 'Donut Child' and the 'Donut Kids' that are still with me.
Donut Child started because, after keeping a life long journal, I injured my arm (also known as The Fecking Bastard Arm) and could not write in longhand. The first year was so hard. Somehow, I had to share my thoughts, in a sanitised way, with the rest of the world. Anyway! I got over all that. Shoved the dirty linen under the bed as far as I could and coped.
Onto Donut Child and the wonderful childhood I experienced. My father was a very small fish in a very big pond when I was born in Cyprus in 1963. My dad was 22 and my mum 19 years old, a long way away from home. He was the lowest of the low, an SAC in the RAF. My earliest memory is of heat, a warm frisky, dry heat. Watching my brother and sister play and fight and get into all sorts of trouble. They were twins and absolutely gorgeous children. I was five, they were two and a half. I remember being so protective of them and if they did anything I would 'own up' on their behalf.
I can remember my dad taking me to my first day at school at Ay Nik Primary School. I was so glad of his hand in mine. We had to go on an enormous bus (erm...actually a small falling apart 'Chicken Bus') and I loved school. Some of the Donut Children that read this started on that day with me and 13 years later, despite following each other, randomly around the world, the same kids managed to finish Secondary School at King Richards in Cyprus with me.
Digressing again. Can you imagine coming home from school at the age of five, living right on the beach, throwing off your clothes, climbing into your swimmies and plunging into the warm Mediterranean Sea. After a swim, my mother would call me and lower down my lunch in a little bucket from our second floor flat. Then dad coming back from work, pulling off his uniform and swimming out with me on his back out to the reef to snorkel and swim with the fish and the turtles.
Life as a Donut Child wasn't always so romantic, we did our time in Germany, in the snow drifts of Berlin, also in the depressing quarters of RAF Digby, where we experienced The Winter of Discontent but somehow I managed 13 whole years in Cyprus and three visits to Ascension Island. What more can a girl ask for!
The Donut Kids are with me today. We have managed two reunions so far. The first was so special. It had been 30 years since we had seen each other. No boring school reunion for us. We had not only travelled throughout our childhoods but many of us had been abroad for most of our adult lives. I am so grateful to be in touch with them as even today many of us travel and are never in the the same place for long. I suppose that is why we cling to one another, even though we are all in our forties.
My father left the RAF but got a new job as a Donut at The Central Spelling Office. Can't tell you much about that as The Central Spelling Office is supposed to be a secret. Now you understand the reason for my Wanderlust.
Thank you for reading Donut Child, I appreciate it so much.
Namaste
Muse x
Saturday 28 May 2011
Testcard - Normal Service will be resumed shortly.
I really need to get this out of my system before I carry on with my very successful Blog! Someone reads this Blog, via her daughters FB account - v.v.v unhealthy if you ask me, I mean WHO gives their Ma their internet password...shudder.
All I can say to her... J - you know who you are. You are a kindred spirit and love to read the written word, just like me. I am quite sure you would love to have a go at this Blog lark so either get on with it or create a Google Account and open your mouth in person. The comments posted on this Blog are let to run free unless like last week a personal phone number is posted. A young girl was in trouble and needed my help. Nuff said.
So darling, get over it or get on with it. Would absolutely love to see you do so because I suspect there is a little frustrated talent hiding in there and no doubt your writing would give mine a run for its money! And that is all the 'breath' I am prepared to give you.
Namaste x
PS Look at your lovely Ma and compare her to many much younger people, she is beautiful and I am so proud of her.
All I can say to her... J - you know who you are. You are a kindred spirit and love to read the written word, just like me. I am quite sure you would love to have a go at this Blog lark so either get on with it or create a Google Account and open your mouth in person. The comments posted on this Blog are let to run free unless like last week a personal phone number is posted. A young girl was in trouble and needed my help. Nuff said.
So darling, get over it or get on with it. Would absolutely love to see you do so because I suspect there is a little frustrated talent hiding in there and no doubt your writing would give mine a run for its money! And that is all the 'breath' I am prepared to give you.
Namaste x
PS Look at your lovely Ma and compare her to many much younger people, she is beautiful and I am so proud of her.
Thursday 26 May 2011
Wanderlust and Barging It!
All The Donut Kids have Wanderlust in one form or another. I lost mine a couple of years ago, settling in to my fluffy slippers, scootching up to my fire and ignoring any memories of faraway places. I found it again a few weeks ago and it is causing no end of trouble. Put it this way, it is either Wanderlust or a bloody mid life crisis!
It started with a boat. I live very close to some of the most beautiful beaches in the world. All it takes on a sunny day is to grab cool box, a body board, shove The Git into the car and Hey Presto! We are there, walking on the beaches, lookin' at the Peaches...A'hem. Actually it is more a case of getting the Bino's out to ensure The Git is not drowning or getting into trouble. I also love looking at the tourists (Emmetts, as we call them down here) and thinking how lucky I am, sitting on the sand, watching the sun go down and The Git surfing in the waves. We have had a few great evenings like that recently.
I digress, I have been salivating over boats for sale, nothing special, just your average luxury 48 footer. Then I realised that I was actually financially in the Poo, so to speak, and decided to look at....erm, she says shamefully....erm...Motor Homes. See!!!! I am losing my marbles! This has to be a mid life crisis as I hate the damn things. After all, I spend most of my life in the summer, either sitting patiently (not!) behind them or watching them being towed away. If I go camping, I expect a bouncy air mattress, a generator, a plug and Sky Plus, not to mention The Butler!. I get grumpy if there is not enough power for my hair straighteners and if it rains I head straight for the nearest plush Hotel with feather duvets and a roof.
SEE! I got old, unadventurous and soft. Now all I can think of is setting sail in a (at the very least 48ft) boat or perhaps a driving across Continents in my top of the range Motor Home with enough room to square away half of the Glastonbury audience! Not entirely sure what brought this on but the realisation that I have actually lived in Cornwall for the last 8 years, without pinging off to some random place or other, may have something to do with it. Blowing into brown paper bag now...really!!! did I actually manage to settle for 8 whole years???
Never mind, my wanderlust will be cured next month. I am off to deepest Warwickshire with a Maestro, a load of terrifically talented Musicians and we'll be aboard a 'Rosie and Jim' Barge tootling along for two weeks. There is something magical about the canal and being aboard a Barge. You have no option but to slow right down to gas mark 3 miles an hour - it is very good for my mid life crisis and I intend to enjoy every minute!
Watch this space for futher updates. My slippers ain't got me just yet!
Namaste
Muse x
http://folkonthewater.blogspot.com/
http://www.youtube.com/user/FolkontheWat...
http://www.folkonthewater.com
http://twitter.com/folkonthewater
http://www.kateboats.co.uk/
http://www.bathplace.org/
http://www.canalsidecommunityfood.org.uk
http://www.bluelias.com/
http://www.thebridgeatnapton.co.uk/
http://www.newboldcomynarms.co.uk/
It started with a boat. I live very close to some of the most beautiful beaches in the world. All it takes on a sunny day is to grab cool box, a body board, shove The Git into the car and Hey Presto! We are there, walking on the beaches, lookin' at the Peaches...A'hem. Actually it is more a case of getting the Bino's out to ensure The Git is not drowning or getting into trouble. I also love looking at the tourists (Emmetts, as we call them down here) and thinking how lucky I am, sitting on the sand, watching the sun go down and The Git surfing in the waves. We have had a few great evenings like that recently.
I digress, I have been salivating over boats for sale, nothing special, just your average luxury 48 footer. Then I realised that I was actually financially in the Poo, so to speak, and decided to look at....erm, she says shamefully....erm...Motor Homes. See!!!! I am losing my marbles! This has to be a mid life crisis as I hate the damn things. After all, I spend most of my life in the summer, either sitting patiently (not!) behind them or watching them being towed away. If I go camping, I expect a bouncy air mattress, a generator, a plug and Sky Plus, not to mention The Butler!. I get grumpy if there is not enough power for my hair straighteners and if it rains I head straight for the nearest plush Hotel with feather duvets and a roof.
SEE! I got old, unadventurous and soft. Now all I can think of is setting sail in a (at the very least 48ft) boat or perhaps a driving across Continents in my top of the range Motor Home with enough room to square away half of the Glastonbury audience! Not entirely sure what brought this on but the realisation that I have actually lived in Cornwall for the last 8 years, without pinging off to some random place or other, may have something to do with it. Blowing into brown paper bag now...really!!! did I actually manage to settle for 8 whole years???
Never mind, my wanderlust will be cured next month. I am off to deepest Warwickshire with a Maestro, a load of terrifically talented Musicians and we'll be aboard a 'Rosie and Jim' Barge tootling along for two weeks. There is something magical about the canal and being aboard a Barge. You have no option but to slow right down to gas mark 3 miles an hour - it is very good for my mid life crisis and I intend to enjoy every minute!
Watch this space for futher updates. My slippers ain't got me just yet!
Namaste
Muse x
http://folkonthewater.blogspot.com/
http://www.youtube.com/user/FolkontheWat...
http://www.folkonthewater.com
http://twitter.com/folkonthewater
http://www.kateboats.co.uk/
http://www.bathplace.org/
http://www.canalsidecommunityfood.org.uk
http://www.bluelias.com/
http://www.thebridgeatnapton.co.uk/
http://www.newboldcomynarms.co.uk/
Tuesday 24 May 2011
TLC and a rather good Vintage!
I had a bit of a rant about 'The Rapture' on Donut Child the other day. I suppose I could not believe that some idiot, organized religion was getting so much publicity. Get me...I gave it publicity. Doh! This Blog is not about religion it is just about us and our faith in each other. I may be dismissive about organized religion and I DO respect those that practice it within their hearts but I struggle to cope with others that feel the need to force me to participate in their God Delusion. Oh Bugger I am just digging myself a deeper hole.
Let me put this into some sort of context. I was about 23 when a relative was diagnosed with liver cancer. She was the same age as I am now. Just 47 years old. Let us just call her Doris for arguements sake. Doris had three weeks from her diagnosis of a terribly painful cancer to her death. She calmly put her affairs in order, sorted out her will and asked for a humanitarian service with no flowers as she would not be present to appreciate them. I remember thinking at the time how brave and rather stupid she was. I hedged my bets at the age of 23, I said my Hari Krishna once a week, my Hail Mary and The Lords Prayer before I nodded off at night. I did not realise it at the time but she was one of the bravest people I have ever met.
It takes a courageous person to dismiss the religion that your parents passed on to you. I was more unfortunate than most. I was brought up within a predominately Catholic family. I won't go into what disillusioned me, suffice to say, one particular Donut Child knows why, and of course I learned to think for myself, something I am able to thank my Father for.
My distrust of religion does not mean I am devoid of Kindness, Love and Respect for others. We all need a little Tender Loving Care. We all appreciate something to believe in, it is called HOPE and as I said in my last Blog, if you put 300 of us in a plane and stick it in a dive, we will all revert to form and pray to the 'God' we have been taught to pray to.
For me, I want to concentrate on one day at a time. I need to get my priorities in order and they start with my family. If I stumble across someone in need or a person who I can help then yeah, why not? If it makes you feel good and gives hope to another then get on with it. This Random Acts of Kindness thing does work. Try it, you may surprise yourself! Oh, just in case you think I have gone all Mushy....my latest RAK was repaid by 6 bottles of a rather good wine!
Namaste
Muse x
PS Still working on my road rage....
Let me put this into some sort of context. I was about 23 when a relative was diagnosed with liver cancer. She was the same age as I am now. Just 47 years old. Let us just call her Doris for arguements sake. Doris had three weeks from her diagnosis of a terribly painful cancer to her death. She calmly put her affairs in order, sorted out her will and asked for a humanitarian service with no flowers as she would not be present to appreciate them. I remember thinking at the time how brave and rather stupid she was. I hedged my bets at the age of 23, I said my Hari Krishna once a week, my Hail Mary and The Lords Prayer before I nodded off at night. I did not realise it at the time but she was one of the bravest people I have ever met.
It takes a courageous person to dismiss the religion that your parents passed on to you. I was more unfortunate than most. I was brought up within a predominately Catholic family. I won't go into what disillusioned me, suffice to say, one particular Donut Child knows why, and of course I learned to think for myself, something I am able to thank my Father for.
My distrust of religion does not mean I am devoid of Kindness, Love and Respect for others. We all need a little Tender Loving Care. We all appreciate something to believe in, it is called HOPE and as I said in my last Blog, if you put 300 of us in a plane and stick it in a dive, we will all revert to form and pray to the 'God' we have been taught to pray to.
For me, I want to concentrate on one day at a time. I need to get my priorities in order and they start with my family. If I stumble across someone in need or a person who I can help then yeah, why not? If it makes you feel good and gives hope to another then get on with it. This Random Acts of Kindness thing does work. Try it, you may surprise yourself! Oh, just in case you think I have gone all Mushy....my latest RAK was repaid by 6 bottles of a rather good wine!
Namaste
Muse x
PS Still working on my road rage....
Saturday 21 May 2011
The Rapture
Yeah I know - TWO posts in a day! I have buggered up. I forgot all about 'The Rapture'. You are all quite able to look it up yourselves. I only know about this stuff as a few weeks ago I happened upon a book. I will not give you the title as it is just a nasty piece of Pentecostal Propoganda and you really don't want to know. I glanced at the back of it and I mean 'glanced' and thought 'mmm, sounds like a good Sci-Fi tale to me'. Got home and three chapters in realised it was a piece of shit. I don't really care who I offend, most of those that know me understand that I have no patience with organized religion.
Put it this way. Put 300 people in a big plane, stick it in a nose dive and count how many pray to God, Allah, Buddah, Ganesh...etc..etc. It is ingrained in us all, no matter how brave we are, how we do not believe. Our society has ensured that during our darkest moments we pray to the shining star in the sky. But this 'Rapture' stuff is a different ball game. Apparently all the good people of this world will be taken up to Heaven at 6pm tonight - does not matter what timeline you are on, that's neat isn't it! What this means is the great and the good will disappear, leaving their clothing behind and the rest of us baddies will stay and face the terrible music.
How arrogant, irritating and hideous. There is no peace in terror, no love in rules and no bravery in shoving organized religion up our arses. Yep this Donut Child just grew teeth.
Pray to your God Quietly, Meditate in your Soul Respectfully, Enjoy your Dreams Blissfully and be at Peace.
Just don't shove it in my face or I may bite...hard!
Namaste
Muse x
Put it this way. Put 300 people in a big plane, stick it in a nose dive and count how many pray to God, Allah, Buddah, Ganesh...etc..etc. It is ingrained in us all, no matter how brave we are, how we do not believe. Our society has ensured that during our darkest moments we pray to the shining star in the sky. But this 'Rapture' stuff is a different ball game. Apparently all the good people of this world will be taken up to Heaven at 6pm tonight - does not matter what timeline you are on, that's neat isn't it! What this means is the great and the good will disappear, leaving their clothing behind and the rest of us baddies will stay and face the terrible music.
How arrogant, irritating and hideous. There is no peace in terror, no love in rules and no bravery in shoving organized religion up our arses. Yep this Donut Child just grew teeth.
Pray to your God Quietly, Meditate in your Soul Respectfully, Enjoy your Dreams Blissfully and be at Peace.
Just don't shove it in my face or I may bite...hard!
Namaste
Muse x
Tibby and The Git
I am babysitting my parents' kitten at the moment. His name is Tibby - he was named by my son. Imagine the embarassment of going out at night and calling his name... He is a charming little thing, very affectionate, very clever and quite a delight. He likes to poke his head into my book when I am reading. Oh, thats apart from when he decides to play at 2 am and taps me on the head gently with his little paws. Josh adores Tibby. He has spent all his pocket money on his little kitten. He loves Tibby without question and is very protective of him.
My problem is not keeping him in but keeping other cats out. He is only a baby and unsure about going out. I live in a place which is overrun by 'feral cats'. They are big, scary and do not deal with any nonsense. If Tibby managed to get out he would be eaten alive.
I have never been a cat lover. Cats know everything. They look at you, sit on your kitchen window sill and report back. Look into the eyes of a Cat and you may become lonely, hirsute, shuffling of slippers and accepting of old age!
My little man, Josh AKA The Git is a bit like Tibby. He is finding his feet in the world. He is unable to go out as he is bullied very badly and up until now he has been struggling to find his place in society.
Josh has just started to find his feet and make a few friends. My little man has become Master of the Household, tutting at me if I struggle trying to put a new fuse in a plug, pulling bags from my hands to carry them for me, putting out the rubbish, locking up and switching lights out. Josh and his little group of friends keep each other safe in school. They reside in a kaleidoscopic bubble of friendship and look out for each other. Perhaps you could call them Geeks but I think they are just like Tibby. Young, clever, entertaining and aware that they could be someone elses dinner but always staying one step ahead.
I am so grateful that The Git has finally found his feet with the help of a little kitten called Tibby....
Namaste
Muse x
PS I have to go now as Tibby has already deleted half this post with his clever paws. He loves the warmth of the 'Pute.
My problem is not keeping him in but keeping other cats out. He is only a baby and unsure about going out. I live in a place which is overrun by 'feral cats'. They are big, scary and do not deal with any nonsense. If Tibby managed to get out he would be eaten alive.
I have never been a cat lover. Cats know everything. They look at you, sit on your kitchen window sill and report back. Look into the eyes of a Cat and you may become lonely, hirsute, shuffling of slippers and accepting of old age!
My little man, Josh AKA The Git is a bit like Tibby. He is finding his feet in the world. He is unable to go out as he is bullied very badly and up until now he has been struggling to find his place in society.
Josh has just started to find his feet and make a few friends. My little man has become Master of the Household, tutting at me if I struggle trying to put a new fuse in a plug, pulling bags from my hands to carry them for me, putting out the rubbish, locking up and switching lights out. Josh and his little group of friends keep each other safe in school. They reside in a kaleidoscopic bubble of friendship and look out for each other. Perhaps you could call them Geeks but I think they are just like Tibby. Young, clever, entertaining and aware that they could be someone elses dinner but always staying one step ahead.
I am so grateful that The Git has finally found his feet with the help of a little kitten called Tibby....
Namaste
Muse x
PS I have to go now as Tibby has already deleted half this post with his clever paws. He loves the warmth of the 'Pute.
Sunday 15 May 2011
Payback Time!
I am not a bitchy woman, never have been, never will be. I am a frustrated writer and have a lot of opinions but I have learned not to sweat the small stuff. Oh,but the small stuff does not include road rage. I am the worlds worst. Today was a good day for me. I only managed two road rage incidents. However, I did manage one grudge match and a near 'scrape the keys down that feckers car' incident. Let me explain.
I usually park the car at the front of my humble house but after 3 acts of vandalism within 6 months, I decided to park it around the back. All the parking is public, none of it is designated. I innocently parked my car and after three days started to receive 'love letters' from someone whose 'space' I had evidently nicked. Life is too bloody short so I just shoved these notes in my glove box and carried on. I did not know what space I was supposed to be nicking as I had parked in several. It soon became clear and I identified the house these letters were issued from. The last one read, 'Park in my space again Bitch and I'll destroy your crap car'. Oh how poetic. I collected about 6 of these badly spelled notes and sighing heavily, wandered off to the Polis station, just to confirm that I was actually parking in a non designated zone.
I did not realise that the Polis would take this seriously as they had never bothered to investigate the vandalism to my car. Cue 'SHE- MAN'. No other description would be fitting. Tall amazonian, mono brow, cheap trainers (who wears trainers unless you are at a gym???) and I suspect her Ma had mated with a Gorilla. Her husband is of the spotty, weedy variety with blonde hi-lights. Now I'm being a snarky bitch but I was pushed! She- Man apparently received a caution and I thought that would be an end to it. How wrong I was, it was only the start. So far I have been blocked by her car on several occasions etc..etc...ad nauseum. I have kept photographic evidence just in case she/he decides to torch my little banger but can't be bothered to do anything more. I have better things to do.
I was driving home tonight and spotted her pulling out behind me. Ha! Here we go darling. I am a better driver than you, a better person and no-one does payback like me. Foot to the floor, I swerved off the high street, using my gears to negotiate a steep hill, lots of speed bumps and keeping a wary eye out for small children. She decided to go the long, allegedly faster way round. I beat her, I beat her. I am a god. My driving is superb.
I smoothly slid into 'her' parking space as she pulled around the corner. I could see the steam hissing out of her ears. I got out of the car with a large smirk on my face. Actually I was cackling like a Hyena with Pleurisy inside that smirk. She had to park around the front. If you can't drive it love you shouldn't fecking own it! Serves you right Madam.
Don't care if I've been bad tonight it was bloody worth it!
Muse x
I usually park the car at the front of my humble house but after 3 acts of vandalism within 6 months, I decided to park it around the back. All the parking is public, none of it is designated. I innocently parked my car and after three days started to receive 'love letters' from someone whose 'space' I had evidently nicked. Life is too bloody short so I just shoved these notes in my glove box and carried on. I did not know what space I was supposed to be nicking as I had parked in several. It soon became clear and I identified the house these letters were issued from. The last one read, 'Park in my space again Bitch and I'll destroy your crap car'. Oh how poetic. I collected about 6 of these badly spelled notes and sighing heavily, wandered off to the Polis station, just to confirm that I was actually parking in a non designated zone.
I did not realise that the Polis would take this seriously as they had never bothered to investigate the vandalism to my car. Cue 'SHE- MAN'. No other description would be fitting. Tall amazonian, mono brow, cheap trainers (who wears trainers unless you are at a gym???) and I suspect her Ma had mated with a Gorilla. Her husband is of the spotty, weedy variety with blonde hi-lights. Now I'm being a snarky bitch but I was pushed! She- Man apparently received a caution and I thought that would be an end to it. How wrong I was, it was only the start. So far I have been blocked by her car on several occasions etc..etc...ad nauseum. I have kept photographic evidence just in case she/he decides to torch my little banger but can't be bothered to do anything more. I have better things to do.
I was driving home tonight and spotted her pulling out behind me. Ha! Here we go darling. I am a better driver than you, a better person and no-one does payback like me. Foot to the floor, I swerved off the high street, using my gears to negotiate a steep hill, lots of speed bumps and keeping a wary eye out for small children. She decided to go the long, allegedly faster way round. I beat her, I beat her. I am a god. My driving is superb.
I smoothly slid into 'her' parking space as she pulled around the corner. I could see the steam hissing out of her ears. I got out of the car with a large smirk on my face. Actually I was cackling like a Hyena with Pleurisy inside that smirk. She had to park around the front. If you can't drive it love you shouldn't fecking own it! Serves you right Madam.
Don't care if I've been bad tonight it was bloody worth it!
Muse x
Wednesday 11 May 2011
Shameful Trojans
I am grumpy - very bloody grumpy. In fact I may have to pick this computer up and hurl it through the window. I am obviously a stupid blond bint as I had the audacity to get a TROJAN! Feck, feck, feck! Oh the shame! I never even got to look at any porn sites and I GOT A TROJAN. The Trojan in question has so far taken three days of my precious time. I finally decided that I was bored looking at the laptop trying to boot up and finally contacted Penfold. Why DO people use laptops anyway? They are sooo...slow. I really do not get Laptops. Nothing but trouble if you ask me.
My problem is, I have been driving 'putes for about 25 years and have forgotten more than I have been taught. This means I have avoided all mentions of back ups, fragmenting discs and completely side stepped anything involving stuff that will delay me getting on with what I want to do. I asked my Pa to look at it a couple of days ago.
'You haven't done any back ups in THREE years...'
'You haven't deleted any files...'
'For Gods sake Lynette, you know about this stuff...'
OUCH! He used my 'given'....this means I am in the shit! I mumbled something about not knowing how to do these things and he walked away in disgust and threw a Windows Vista book at me. Can't say I blame him!
I drive a computer much in the same way as I drive a car. Impatiently, changing gears often and spouting lots of really really bad words beginning with the letter C. You are talking to 'Ms Road Rage' here. All that know me understand that I do not swear unless I am driving the 'pute or the car! I am bloody lucky to be alive considering that I have pulled at least two 6ft blokes out of their cars for cutting me up. I just cannot help it. I am usually a reasonable person but all that goes out of the window in the driving seat.
Cue Penfold. He dealt with my Trojan for two hours over the phone. I am in bits. I could no longer concentrate so he left me to it and we have round two tomorrow. Luckily Penfold does this for a living. Erm...what he actually does is deal with lots of impatient and utterly stupid people trying to cut corners and whinging when they end up in the Doo, Doo! He tells me there is money to be made doing this. Frankly my Dear, I wouldn't care if they paid me a million quid and hour for doing what he does because I would haul 'em out of their stupid leather computer chairs and bang their heads against their 19 inch touch screen!
In my defense I had to take The Git to the Dentist today.
Ms Stressy Knickers AKA Muse x
PS Thanks Penfold.
My problem is, I have been driving 'putes for about 25 years and have forgotten more than I have been taught. This means I have avoided all mentions of back ups, fragmenting discs and completely side stepped anything involving stuff that will delay me getting on with what I want to do. I asked my Pa to look at it a couple of days ago.
'You haven't done any back ups in THREE years...'
'You haven't deleted any files...'
'For Gods sake Lynette, you know about this stuff...'
OUCH! He used my 'given'....this means I am in the shit! I mumbled something about not knowing how to do these things and he walked away in disgust and threw a Windows Vista book at me. Can't say I blame him!
I drive a computer much in the same way as I drive a car. Impatiently, changing gears often and spouting lots of really really bad words beginning with the letter C. You are talking to 'Ms Road Rage' here. All that know me understand that I do not swear unless I am driving the 'pute or the car! I am bloody lucky to be alive considering that I have pulled at least two 6ft blokes out of their cars for cutting me up. I just cannot help it. I am usually a reasonable person but all that goes out of the window in the driving seat.
Cue Penfold. He dealt with my Trojan for two hours over the phone. I am in bits. I could no longer concentrate so he left me to it and we have round two tomorrow. Luckily Penfold does this for a living. Erm...what he actually does is deal with lots of impatient and utterly stupid people trying to cut corners and whinging when they end up in the Doo, Doo! He tells me there is money to be made doing this. Frankly my Dear, I wouldn't care if they paid me a million quid and hour for doing what he does because I would haul 'em out of their stupid leather computer chairs and bang their heads against their 19 inch touch screen!
In my defense I had to take The Git to the Dentist today.
Ms Stressy Knickers AKA Muse x
PS Thanks Penfold.
Saturday 7 May 2011
Behind The Bike Sheds.
I am bleary eyed and my mind will not shut down. Why? Because I have discovered Twitter, thats why. I have avoided it for a long time. Sniffily declaring it was for saddo's that really should have something better to do. Get me!
Oh the joy of dropping in on an anothers life. Vacuous, periphery, inane and fecking brilliant. I sit here with the The Twitter tab open, eyes glazed, desperate to be accepted, followed. Twitter is the biggest school playground we have ever played Hopscotch in. One guy @tweetygeeky says "now following stars in our galaxy, will you be one of the lucky ones? ..". The desperation of wanting him to follow me, you can almost smell it. Oh, what a delicious challenge, it was almost as good as eyeing up the best looking boy in the class and praying he would deign to speak to you. @tweetygeeky has granted me absolution. I am one of the chosen few. I can now breathe again and whisper to myself how clever, beautiful, wonderful and talented I am!
The spiders web grows ever wider and I discover more and more connections, some of them , frail and friable, others strong and unbreakable. I am Borg like. I am part of The Collective!
Be Careful out There!
Muse x
PS @Donut_Child. Follow me...follow me....follow me....
Oh the joy of dropping in on an anothers life. Vacuous, periphery, inane and fecking brilliant. I sit here with the The Twitter tab open, eyes glazed, desperate to be accepted, followed. Twitter is the biggest school playground we have ever played Hopscotch in. One guy @tweetygeeky says "now following stars in our galaxy, will you be one of the lucky ones? ..". The desperation of wanting him to follow me, you can almost smell it. Oh, what a delicious challenge, it was almost as good as eyeing up the best looking boy in the class and praying he would deign to speak to you. @tweetygeeky has granted me absolution. I am one of the chosen few. I can now breathe again and whisper to myself how clever, beautiful, wonderful and talented I am!
The spiders web grows ever wider and I discover more and more connections, some of them , frail and friable, others strong and unbreakable. I am Borg like. I am part of The Collective!
Be Careful out There!
Muse x
PS @Donut_Child. Follow me...follow me....follow me....
Thursday 5 May 2011
Random Acts of Kindness.
I have been thinking...yeah I know, a bit of a dangerous occupation! Through my Blogging and the Great God FB, I have met so many fabulous, endearing, arrogant, self serving, bewildering, humbling and amazing Human Beings that I have to talk about Random Acts of Kindness.
I have been grumpy of late and only managing to feel happy when the sun is shining. Perhaps I have become so insular that I have forgotten that giving is so much more satisfying than receiving. I started a new note book today. I can no longer write longhand, due to the fecking arm but can manage to keep a small book by my bed and scribble in it. I flicked through the old one. RAK's are mentioned. I have managed to hold a door open, give someone parking money, stop for someone who has broken down and lend someone my mobile.... Bland and Boring! I also leave books that I have read, on bus stops, in phone boxes and in restaurants/cafes. I delude myself, thinking that if I leave books in odd places, I may be encouraging people to read. Durr....
My other talent is feeding people. I usually go to my Hairdresser at teatime on a Thursday, when they are open until 9pm. I like to take them some 'tea'. It is called "Open Bribery and Corruption". Treat all Hairdressers, Window Cleaners and Nurses with great respect and you are guaranteed a good experience.
It seems to me that I must UP my game. I am dissatisfied with my life and despite searching the Net for a great 'RAKer', I can only find the likes of Bill Gates or some sickly sweet American sites, boasting of bland RAKs. Failing that I am overwhelmed by organized religious sites. Shiver! I wanted to give you stories of inspiration and hope but the only person I can think of is my mother. She is fondly known to us as Hyacinth (Mrs Bouquet). Look it up readers outside the UK....
My mother is a force to be reckoned with. My first memory of her RAK personality is at the age of nine. A child was hiding behind her skirts, whilst his mother yelled that she would kill him as he had cut all the heads off her beloved tulips with a pair of scissors. Oops! My mum had 4 kids under the age of five at one point and was always such a sweet and forgiving person.
My next tangle with her RAK mind was sitting at the dinner table on Christmas Day at the age of 17, whilst she searched the streets for someone worthy to share our Christmas Dinner with. She arrived back with a 'Gentleman of The Road'. He proceeded to eat his food, drink us dry and peed on his seat. I was (as a teenager) disgusted! This Christmas tradition continued and one Christmas I found myself in the passenger seat beside her. I think this was much more due to me trying to upset and bait my father, rather than doing a good deed. Oh! the years of the 'Gents of The Road' were great! The best Christmas I ever witnessed was when we were invited to a posh drinks party at the nauseating 'K's house. Put it this way, the daughter was probably doing her dad and I suspect her husband was doing her mum! The said 'Gent of The Road' was utterly blasted and gave us all quite a good show - oh... and he peed on their sofa - triffic!
My mother, did actually manage to open my mind and if I cook Christmas Dinner I am happy to get into the car and find someone having a crap time and bring them back. My mum is one of the great RAKers of life and continues to be so. I am not going to do Christmas with the Family this year. I am going to volunteer somewhere and probably have a better day than you. Blimey, that all sounds a bit patronising doesn't it? Nah, no prisoners taken here - just time I upped my game, thats all.
If any of you have a RAK you want to share then please do, because I am all out of ideas! The bigger the better folks....
Up to You.
Namaste
Muse x
I have been grumpy of late and only managing to feel happy when the sun is shining. Perhaps I have become so insular that I have forgotten that giving is so much more satisfying than receiving. I started a new note book today. I can no longer write longhand, due to the fecking arm but can manage to keep a small book by my bed and scribble in it. I flicked through the old one. RAK's are mentioned. I have managed to hold a door open, give someone parking money, stop for someone who has broken down and lend someone my mobile.... Bland and Boring! I also leave books that I have read, on bus stops, in phone boxes and in restaurants/cafes. I delude myself, thinking that if I leave books in odd places, I may be encouraging people to read. Durr....
My other talent is feeding people. I usually go to my Hairdresser at teatime on a Thursday, when they are open until 9pm. I like to take them some 'tea'. It is called "Open Bribery and Corruption". Treat all Hairdressers, Window Cleaners and Nurses with great respect and you are guaranteed a good experience.
It seems to me that I must UP my game. I am dissatisfied with my life and despite searching the Net for a great 'RAKer', I can only find the likes of Bill Gates or some sickly sweet American sites, boasting of bland RAKs. Failing that I am overwhelmed by organized religious sites. Shiver! I wanted to give you stories of inspiration and hope but the only person I can think of is my mother. She is fondly known to us as Hyacinth (Mrs Bouquet). Look it up readers outside the UK....
My mother is a force to be reckoned with. My first memory of her RAK personality is at the age of nine. A child was hiding behind her skirts, whilst his mother yelled that she would kill him as he had cut all the heads off her beloved tulips with a pair of scissors. Oops! My mum had 4 kids under the age of five at one point and was always such a sweet and forgiving person.
My next tangle with her RAK mind was sitting at the dinner table on Christmas Day at the age of 17, whilst she searched the streets for someone worthy to share our Christmas Dinner with. She arrived back with a 'Gentleman of The Road'. He proceeded to eat his food, drink us dry and peed on his seat. I was (as a teenager) disgusted! This Christmas tradition continued and one Christmas I found myself in the passenger seat beside her. I think this was much more due to me trying to upset and bait my father, rather than doing a good deed. Oh! the years of the 'Gents of The Road' were great! The best Christmas I ever witnessed was when we were invited to a posh drinks party at the nauseating 'K's house. Put it this way, the daughter was probably doing her dad and I suspect her husband was doing her mum! The said 'Gent of The Road' was utterly blasted and gave us all quite a good show - oh... and he peed on their sofa - triffic!
My mother, did actually manage to open my mind and if I cook Christmas Dinner I am happy to get into the car and find someone having a crap time and bring them back. My mum is one of the great RAKers of life and continues to be so. I am not going to do Christmas with the Family this year. I am going to volunteer somewhere and probably have a better day than you. Blimey, that all sounds a bit patronising doesn't it? Nah, no prisoners taken here - just time I upped my game, thats all.
If any of you have a RAK you want to share then please do, because I am all out of ideas! The bigger the better folks....
Up to You.
Namaste
Muse x
Wednesday 4 May 2011
Stalking Catfish.
I stumbled across something called 'Stats' on Blogger a few weeks ago. Those that know me understand that I am Internet Savvy but prefer to ignore most of it and stick to the basics. I have no patience and need a personal trainer...if he looks like George Lamb then so much the better! Driving a computer is much like driving a car to me and believe me I suffer with incurable road rage. Not proud of it but that's how I'm made. I don't like foul language but get me in front of a wheel or a keyboard and a I can swear in 5 different languages not including Chinese! I digress. The 'Stats' I refer to are something that Blogger has introduced so that you can see who and where and how many times people are reading your Blog.
Blimey I thought, thats a bit Big Brother isn't it? Previous to this I had a little ticker counter on the bottom of Donut Child that was about as reliable as a dodgy motor bought from Arthur Daley, it kept resetting itself. Imagine my surprise when I clicked on Stats and found lots of people reading my Blog, all over the world. Some results were a bit worrying, I have 86 readers in Russia and 2 in Iran. The best bit is I am, apparently, a National Hero in Denmark! Whoo Hoo! Oh and the worst bit. One particular post has been read 526 times by the same guy.....shudder!
This brings me neatly onto the subject of the Documentary film Catfish made by brothers. Nev and Ariel Schulman. I am not going to go into the plot too much as it will spoil the film for those who have not seen it. You need to watch and/or review the film to understand where this Blog is coming from. Nev meets an 8 year old, prodigy artist on Facebook and befriends not only her, but her family. Nev is a dance photographer and Ariel is a film maker. What follows is a quite, mesmerising film but the Donut Child in me did not get sucked into the hype that is Catfish. Perhaps Nev and Ariel started to film events in innocence but I think the latter part of it was staged. The shots were too perfect.
I suppose that Catfish should serve as a warning to us all. We are entering uncharted waters. Or should I say, have entered. The Internet got so big, so fast that no authority in the world has a cat in hells chance of policing it. And thats the way I like it!!! So yeah, you can create an alter ego, the definition of which reads - A person's secondary or alternative personality. There is no harm in that. We all have an alter ego, whether it be inside our heads, the make up that females or males put on, the clothes we wear or the cheerful Tweets and FB posts that we deign to share with the world. FB and Twitter would be quite a turn off if we all posted how we really felt in everyday life. Catfish explores how FB and social networking sites can abuse the trust that we put in them. Big Deal! TV has done that for years, its called Propaganda folks....
The thing we all need to think about is EVERYTHING we put on the Internet cannot be deleted, it cannot be removed, you cannot even remove posts from Facebook now as (like me) many people have a separate email address dedicated to FB and the posts ping in to that email. Let me give you an example, a friend of mine was accused of a crime a couple of years ago. He was exonerated and proved to be totally innocent. Not before the press got hold of it though. He has spent a lot of time putting positive things on the Net to cover the nastiness that had been written about him. Why? Because he is a personality, a great philanthropist and as he puts it, 'a public domain'. The only way he can try and wipe out unfounded accusations is by spending time publicising his positive profile. It stinks for him but perhaps others are so stupid they do not realise or care what they are writing. All I can say is don't go running to your Ma when you get your fingers burned. Think about it..The Net is a bloody wonderful thing and used positively is changing the way we live our lives. Treat it with respect and don't be surprised if it comes right back at you and bites you in the bum!
Stay Safe
Muse x
Blimey I thought, thats a bit Big Brother isn't it? Previous to this I had a little ticker counter on the bottom of Donut Child that was about as reliable as a dodgy motor bought from Arthur Daley, it kept resetting itself. Imagine my surprise when I clicked on Stats and found lots of people reading my Blog, all over the world. Some results were a bit worrying, I have 86 readers in Russia and 2 in Iran. The best bit is I am, apparently, a National Hero in Denmark! Whoo Hoo! Oh and the worst bit. One particular post has been read 526 times by the same guy.....shudder!
This brings me neatly onto the subject of the Documentary film Catfish made by brothers. Nev and Ariel Schulman. I am not going to go into the plot too much as it will spoil the film for those who have not seen it. You need to watch and/or review the film to understand where this Blog is coming from. Nev meets an 8 year old, prodigy artist on Facebook and befriends not only her, but her family. Nev is a dance photographer and Ariel is a film maker. What follows is a quite, mesmerising film but the Donut Child in me did not get sucked into the hype that is Catfish. Perhaps Nev and Ariel started to film events in innocence but I think the latter part of it was staged. The shots were too perfect.
I suppose that Catfish should serve as a warning to us all. We are entering uncharted waters. Or should I say, have entered. The Internet got so big, so fast that no authority in the world has a cat in hells chance of policing it. And thats the way I like it!!! So yeah, you can create an alter ego, the definition of which reads - A person's secondary or alternative personality. There is no harm in that. We all have an alter ego, whether it be inside our heads, the make up that females or males put on, the clothes we wear or the cheerful Tweets and FB posts that we deign to share with the world. FB and Twitter would be quite a turn off if we all posted how we really felt in everyday life. Catfish explores how FB and social networking sites can abuse the trust that we put in them. Big Deal! TV has done that for years, its called Propaganda folks....
The thing we all need to think about is EVERYTHING we put on the Internet cannot be deleted, it cannot be removed, you cannot even remove posts from Facebook now as (like me) many people have a separate email address dedicated to FB and the posts ping in to that email. Let me give you an example, a friend of mine was accused of a crime a couple of years ago. He was exonerated and proved to be totally innocent. Not before the press got hold of it though. He has spent a lot of time putting positive things on the Net to cover the nastiness that had been written about him. Why? Because he is a personality, a great philanthropist and as he puts it, 'a public domain'. The only way he can try and wipe out unfounded accusations is by spending time publicising his positive profile. It stinks for him but perhaps others are so stupid they do not realise or care what they are writing. All I can say is don't go running to your Ma when you get your fingers burned. Think about it..The Net is a bloody wonderful thing and used positively is changing the way we live our lives. Treat it with respect and don't be surprised if it comes right back at you and bites you in the bum!
Stay Safe
Muse x
Monday 2 May 2011
Royal Weddings and Grumpiness.
The week before The Royal Wedding (hereafter known as TRW) hacked me off. The Media speculation as to what may or may not happen made me grumpy. I don't mind a bit of a Royal Knees Up, after all I am a Brit and am very proud of our Queen. Charlie and Camilla can bugger off as far as I am concerned - puppets of the establishment, hedonistic and arrogant.
I never really got to grips with the Nations worship of Princess Di? I didn't get all the howling and National grief thing when she tragically died. Nice Sloany girl, fed to a pair of lions named Charlie and Camilla like a sacrifice. I felt sorry for her, desperately sorry and was sad that she had, had to cope with some seriously nasty people, in order to survive. Still, she knew what she was doing with the Press and used them to her own advantage. It all got a bit 'Dynasty' there for a few years.
After the week of Media frenzy, prior to TRW I had, had enough. I got very little sleep the night before and popped a sleeping pill at 4am in desperation. I stuck the duvet over my head and slept blissfully through the whole thing. Bad Muse! My mother phoned me at about 4pm, asking my opinion of the dress etc. As I had just crawled out of the shower, I mumbled that I loved the dress etc... not having seen a damn thing!
At this point I thought I had better switch on the box and catch up with all things Royal and gushing Media Shite! All my preconceptions were shot down in flames and I did have a tear or two as he said 'You look beautiful' to her as she stood beside him at the altar. My faith in Romance has been restored. William must have known that his words would be read but it seems he was determined to make it their day as well as the Nations. Good luck to them, they will need it.
I have just watched a film called The Young Victoria. I thoroughly enjoyed it as was in the mood for a bit of a Costume Flick. It has sat in my DVD collection for the last 6 months and it finally got dusted off tonight. Now there was a Royal Court to be bloody scared of. Victoria must have been a very strong woman to go through what she did. Her accession to the throne was difficult to say the least but after 9 children and a reign of 63 years and 216 days, she became our longest serving British Monarch. Our own Queen is a close second at 59 years and 84 days. Interestingly Charlie has recently become the longest serving king-in-waiting in British history.
Seems there is a god after all!
Be Careful out there.
Muse x
I never really got to grips with the Nations worship of Princess Di? I didn't get all the howling and National grief thing when she tragically died. Nice Sloany girl, fed to a pair of lions named Charlie and Camilla like a sacrifice. I felt sorry for her, desperately sorry and was sad that she had, had to cope with some seriously nasty people, in order to survive. Still, she knew what she was doing with the Press and used them to her own advantage. It all got a bit 'Dynasty' there for a few years.
After the week of Media frenzy, prior to TRW I had, had enough. I got very little sleep the night before and popped a sleeping pill at 4am in desperation. I stuck the duvet over my head and slept blissfully through the whole thing. Bad Muse! My mother phoned me at about 4pm, asking my opinion of the dress etc. As I had just crawled out of the shower, I mumbled that I loved the dress etc... not having seen a damn thing!
At this point I thought I had better switch on the box and catch up with all things Royal and gushing Media Shite! All my preconceptions were shot down in flames and I did have a tear or two as he said 'You look beautiful' to her as she stood beside him at the altar. My faith in Romance has been restored. William must have known that his words would be read but it seems he was determined to make it their day as well as the Nations. Good luck to them, they will need it.
I have just watched a film called The Young Victoria. I thoroughly enjoyed it as was in the mood for a bit of a Costume Flick. It has sat in my DVD collection for the last 6 months and it finally got dusted off tonight. Now there was a Royal Court to be bloody scared of. Victoria must have been a very strong woman to go through what she did. Her accession to the throne was difficult to say the least but after 9 children and a reign of 63 years and 216 days, she became our longest serving British Monarch. Our own Queen is a close second at 59 years and 84 days. Interestingly Charlie has recently become the longest serving king-in-waiting in British history.
Seems there is a god after all!
Be Careful out there.
Muse x
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)