His Crap is the same as my Crap !

T'Internet went down last week. Not just me but most of my neighbours. Blimey, my front door was red hot with people knocking on it and wondering whether I had a landline. The answer was a No. Not difficult in Bodmin, where I live. My phone number has only 5 digits and if its gonna crash then we are usually the first to do so.

A few nights without the Internet does strange things to a person. I actually watched some Crap TV. Dutch and I were discussing this and we agreed that my Crap is the same as his Crap. That means same Crap but different Crap to other people. Hmmm, hopefully you know what I mean! Crap means something that you can watch on TV with your thumb up your bum and the brain in neutral - erm...thats how the old saying goes.

Okay, onto my Crap. Reality TV. First, I watched something on BBC3 called 'Working Girls'. A programme about getting young girls to work as they were unemployed. Jaw dropping stuff. All they wanted to do was stay in bed. Getting these young women to work was like pulling teeth. Perhaps I am lucky. My elder children both work full time and have done so throughout their 6th form/degree education. We have always had a work ethic and I expected nothing more. I brought my children up to be independent.

These young women were unbelievable. They actually had no confidence in themselves. Sorry to preach but at 18, despite growing up under the 'Forces Brat' umbrella I was delighted about starting work. The girls in question had been spoiled by their parents, waited on hand, foot and finger. The parents should have taken responsibility for themselves, not just their offspring. Back to the sofa. I ground my teeth down to nothing as I sat and watched apathetic young women resist every opportunity that was thrown their way. All was eventually sorted and the girls started to realise that work might be a good thing. Hurrah for that but why did they need such remote 'Mentors'?? Why were their parents so submissive?

Onto the hilarious 'Living With Women'. Yeah, a fairly ridiculous premis. Again the parents played a huge part in this. Young guys were sent off into the yonder by their long suffering girlfriends to learn how to 'live' with older, wiser and much more savvy women. Actually they were rather gentle with their 'victims'. The whole thing stank of very bad parenting. Not difficult is it...

I did watch one whole episode of 'Jamies Dream School'. That's a lie! I had to turn it off. Stick to the cooking you Mockney Illiterate Little Boy!...Ooo get me! Our teachers are having to deal with the lack of parental control and could do without your help. Get over it man!

Onto 'One Born Every Minute'. Channel 4's rather excellent attempt at showing what happens when women go into labour and give birth. Personally, I would rather have my Ma there than some poor man who is having to deal with the incoming concept that is Fatherhood and his girl completely losing it in front of him. Believe me, an air of mystery is far better than asking him to shave your legs for you !

This week we had Oakley and Dave. Dave is an ex-Heroin addict now turned Methodone addict. He probably had about three brain cells in his head and was so laid back that I was rather worried he would actually lay back and stick his feet in the stirrups. (Note all single guys, look up Birth and Stirrups, not to be confused with a sexual preference.) Oakley is a pretty 18 year old, middle class girl who had (in her defence) got up the duff by accident. Dave was the love of her life...aww bless she's 18! Oakley had to grow up rather fast and supervise their finances and cope with his methadone habit. Oakley was so in awe of him because he represented everything her parents abhorred.

Oakley; Quote - I want to give my baby girl everything my parents gave me. We had a lovely life with beautiful things and lovely holidays. - Unquote. God help her!

I am so distressed for her. Baby Tallulah or Tiffany or something like that was born at a whopping 9lb ish to this tiny size 8 girl. All Dave could do was grin and congratulate himself. Gruesome.

My Crap might be the same as his Crap but I think it upsets me more.

Look after you and yours.

Muse x