My little Banger has gone and has been replaced by a bit of a smart Nissan Micra. Tis very plush, it has a radio instead of a hole, power steering and some brakes.... imagine having Feck Off Brakes that you can actually use instead of having to change from 5th to 2nd very rapidly! Note to all you guys out there, I can read a map and tend to drive with my gears rather than wearing out my brake pads...nuff said! The blowers for the windscreen work so that I don't have to travel with 15 tea towels and a Shami stuffed in my glove box. Even more impressive is that the sun roof does not leak! No more Chinese Water Torture for me!
I have to say that the Banger has been a faithful and trusty companion for the last 9 months. I was very sadly broke at the time I purchased it. Obviously, I bought it on a sunny warm day and everything looked fine. I had a terrible winter trying to mop crap off the inside of the windscreen. I do not normally touch the inside of my windscreen - only 'women' drivers do that...ooo get me! I used to struggle to get into the damn thing as sometimes the central locking went into 'sulk' mode and it would take me a good half an hour to gain entry. Oh! And do not forget all the times that the alarm has gone off at 3am and I have had to get out of bed to silence, kick and swear at it. Apparently it wanted to kip on my sofa when we were experiencing high winds and rain.... However, it has never ever broken down and never failed to start! This I must be grateful for!
I knew that the banger was coming off the road, so was reading the motoring section of the local paper a couple of weeks ago and wondering how I was going to manage to get another Ve-Hickle on the road. I came across an Ad asking for a banger from a guy who wanted it for his son to learn to drive in. As I was reading the paper 4 days, after it was published, I rang the number and thought that he probably had a banger already. He rang me straight back and we agreed to meet. Surprise, surprise he offered me £170 for it! This meant I could afford to invest in Middle Class Banger rather than Working Class Banger. The MOT was due and as my car had a huge hole in the back passenger floor, an exhaust that farts like a Pregnant Elephant and the need to kip on my sofa when it's cold and exhausted, I said to him "Are you sure"? I am too honest to sell a load of crap onto someone else. After all Bad Karma comes back to haunt you! He was quite happy to take it and told me that he lived in deepest Cornwall, had a lot of land and it was for his 12 year old son to drive around his field in. Apparently his son has already wrecked a Ford Escort on the field. What a great dad he is!
That! was my childhood. At 13 years old I was driving Landrovers (real nasty ones) and backing Speed Boats down the jetty at Dhekelia Ski Club. At 17, I actually managed to 'deep six' a Landrover complete with trailer and Speedboat. Erm...I think this was due to a 4.30am start at Dhekelia Ski Club and a 2.30 am finish at The George Club! The Yompers at Alexandra Barracks had to pull out my Landrover, with their Landrover. Oh, the shame! I was Catatonic!
So here I am, in a state of bliss, driving my zippy little Micra through the Cornish lanes with superb v.flashy stereo on extra loud! The stereo is so good that apparently I have to remove the cover and take it with me in case someone is jealous. Apparently people are more jealous of Middle Class Bangers than Working Class bangers... It's All Greek to me!
Be careful out there
Muse x
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