One of Lifes Little Lessons!

I decided to paint my lounge, the reasoning, being that if I started to decorate, I would finally manage to move house, aka Murphy's Law! I was determined not to involve the parents or anyone else and do this myself. Note, I have NEVER decorated anything in my entire life. I have always decreed this is a blokes job and it is their responsibility. This is what happened.....

STEP 1. Move furniture away from wall with one arm and marvel at the amount of crap underneath sofa, bookcase etc... Also realise where The Git has been hiding his 97,000 sweet wrappers, 11 pairs of undies, Pokemon Cards and 75,000 comics all this time!

STEP 2. Fall over for two days and rest as exhausted (not kidding).

STEP 3. Find dead Hamster, last seen in 2008. Respectfully give it a full Military Funeral but forget (on purpose) to inform the Git. Take curtains down. Eye various cobwebs with trepidation and resolve to buy a feather duster.

STEP 4. Fall over again and sleep for 36 hours. This M.E business is a twat when you are trying to accomplish something.

STEP 5. Go to Trago Mills to buy supplies. Ask nice but condescending man for advice and travel home with boot full of painting things you had no idea existed. Buy large feather duster and systematically wreck Spiders 6 year old homes...I am such a slut!

STEP 6. Start as you mean to go on. Cover eveything with dust sheets. Carefully use masking tape as wiggly lines are not allowed in this house. Lay out all tools needed and ensure not one drop of paint shall be spilled. Wash one large wall, have a glass of wine and...fall over!

STEP 7. After another little nap, use a paint brush to paint around walls and then its 'roller time'. After three hours of careful concentration one wall has one coat on it. Sit and look at it in disgust. Have a glass of wine and a Tramadol as arm is fecked and fall over.

STEP 8. Answer door (in a dishevelled state) to parents. Pa takes one look and tuts a lot, muttering about it needing another coat and on noticing the state of me tells me to go to bed.

STEP 9. Wake after a few hours sleep to find that Pa has not only finished painting my 22 foot lounge but has moved most of the furniture back.

STEP 10. Resolve NEVER to decorate again and leave it to the Blokes!

Lesson learned!

Muse x