Curses.....

I was talking to my lovely girlfriend Prenders about swearing the other day. I was complaining that the Brits were quite frankly CRAP at it. We only manage one word per insult and most of them begin with B, F ,C or W. How boring. I love how other nations swear.

The Irish are masters. They don't bother with our pale and uninteresting curses. let me give you some examples...

You feckin' self polluter..
Arse Picker.
Truffle Snuffler
Bollix
He was a great Ride...
Ask me arse...

and so on. However the Gods of the curse must be the Arabic nations. Stuff like 'your mother was a camel and your father was a donkey' or 'you are the dirt on my shoes' or 'may a million locusts descend upon your field'. Oh! and those are the ones I made up. From Bulgaria comes the phrase 'your mother sucks bears in the forest' or the wonderful 'you are as ugly as a salad'. See! We are all pants at swearing in the UK. Now for some of my own.

Flower Sniffer
Wine Spitter
Button Burster
Lamp Switcher
Computer Cacker
Heel Breaker...

The list is endless. Bit of a shame that I revert to the old Brit type behind the wheel. Even the 13 year old has stopped laughing at the C word.

Must try harder...

Muse x