My Family and Other Animals

I have been suffering with writers block, boredom and lack of motivation. Never mind the Winter Solstice approaches, then it's all downhill from there, the dark evenings getting lighter as each day passes.

Bit of an odd week in the Muse household. The weather has been spectacular, horizontal rain and high winds. My parents could not get out of the farm where they live because of fallen trees. Serves them right for living in the middle of nowhere. I still maintain they got so tired of answering the phone and of various offspring coming to squat, that they moved into a one bed farm cottage on purpose! Oh and let me tell you about the pigs. They live about two hundred yards from a barn containing a couple of pigs. Said pigs bred and lo and behold, lots of piglets. Now, my mother is animal mad and has fed these little bacon rashers from very young. Sorry you veggies out there but I could not resist. I love piggies, especially with apple sauce! The upshot is they think she is their mother, so instead of children she has now become the proud parent of almost fully grown piglets. A typical phone conversation with her goes something like this:

Me - Hi mum just wanted to tell you about....
Mum - Hang on darling one of the pigs wants to come in.
Me - Why are you letting a pig into the house?
Mum - Ahh he wants to play with his ball, come here boy. Ahh do you want some apples?
Me - Anyway mum I just wanted....
Mum - No piggy don't put your head in the fridge, no, no...good boy come to me.
Me - You are completely barking mother.
Mum - I have to go darling, he's lost his ball under the sofa...

I promise you I am NOT making this up. Picture all of this with my mother in her rollers, speaking in her best Mrs Bouquet voice and you should have some idea of what I have to deal with!

As I said before, it has been a bit of an odd week. The Git has been driving me mad as he needs to run free and that has been impossible during the stormy weather. The poor little man has had a few nightmares after his brush with the bullies but when he woke me at 2 am this morning I had no sympathy. We watched Dr Who together last night and I was cowering behind the sofa (I am such a girl...) whilst he laughed at me. I think last nights viewing was responsible. Absolutely no chance of him admitting that, after all he is a bloke!

A police officer finally visited him tonight after a missed appointment on Friday, to which my father grumpily commented that I should proceed to the nearest motorway, where I would find hundreds of the boys in blue. I have to admit he has a point. Okay, so the upshot is that The Git does not want to go to court as he finds the very concept terrifying and we have agreed to go to mediation at the school, where the bullies will be formally warned by a Community Beat Officer. I asked Josh what he thought the police should do. 'Send them to boarding school' was his reply. Interesting, I would have given my left ear to go to boarding school! I was going to say that I was reading Enid Blyton and Mallory Towers at that age but I wasn't. I was actually reading Daphne Du Maurier and The Bronte Sisters.

The 'Other Animals' in the title does not refer to the pigs. It refers to a human being who has no social skills or grey matter at all. An old school friend of mine has a son in the forces. She is currently overseas with her husband and we keep in touch via Facebook. Her son went into a kebab shop in Portsmouth with a few mates last week. They were all wearing 'Help for Heroes' wristbands. They ordered and paid for their food and were chatting to the owner. He asked them what the wristbands were for and they duly explained what they were. The owner ordered them to leave the shop straight away, saying he thought the war was wrong and he wasn't going to serve them. ....

As you all know, I am a big supporter of our Armed Forces so what follows may be biased but I don't care. (I should also point out that there are 17,600, tri-service, serving personnel in GREAT BRITAIN. Of them, only 4,200 are English. Thanks for the information, John.) I feel utterly sick and bloody furious with this ignorant Fecker. If I lived there, I would bloody picket the place. The man has no brains and deserves to be publicly outed. Don't get me wrong, I advocate free speech and debate but to throw those guys out was an extreme and unwarranted action. There were 32 comments reacting to her post on Facebook, some of the more severe calling for him to be 'sent back to where he came from'. Hmmm....very scary how we can all revert to our most basic of instincts in times of trouble. Not very practical either as like it, or not, we have become a multicultural society. So, lets return to the 'Lead by Example' in an earlier blog and twist it a little. Make an 'example' of this individual. Name him, shame him and hit him where it hurts...his pocket! Simple but deadly.

Be Kind to each other

Muse x

PS Alistair, we are all very proud of you for doing a great job. Oh! and I still have the video of you at Sians second birthday party, how much is it worth mate ! :-)