The Dating Game - Part 3 !

I cannot do this anymore....I gave the Dating Game 10 months but I have finally had enough. Here are some quotes from friends......

" I stopped dating in my forties when I went prematurely grey due to the horrific dates I went on.  I am so glad to be surrounded by good friends" - Mike, IT Consultant, old friend and lovely guy!

" You cannot seriously believe that you might actually meet someone on these sites. It is a bit like going into a nightclub at our age" - The Dutchman.

So I have done it, at least I think I have...deleting my profiles on dating sites. Oh man that sounds bad doesn't it - no really just the two or, umm...maybe three!  I honestly thought I would meet someone but how wrong I was. Is it me? Am I to blame? I think my eternal problem is finding a guy that understands my intellect.

Sounds bloody big headed doesn't it. I don't mean it like that but what I managed to glean through my 'dating experiences' is that a lot of guys are football fans, don't know how to read a book and are in awe of their sexual prowess! I hate football, guys that posture, rather than remember, and I would love someone who knows how to read. This spikes it's own problems...I have met a few intellectuals during my dating days. Some were bookish, boring and self obsessed and one was so egotistical, I actually spent precious time trying to pull his feet down to earth. He did nothing except boast about his deluded sexual conquests (all young impressionable girls) and borrowed money from me, which I never saw again. Ce la Vie!  If you are mad enough to meet guys via dating site than you deserve all that it delivers.

I may have been searching for that 'je ne sais quoi' but it seems that my arrogance in doing so delivered an expected result. My mind is clear now. It is not a good thing to search for something when you do not understand what it is that you are searching for.

I met a guy called Chris on a dating site a few weeks ago. He was from Cardiff, a really gorgeous guy, not for me as he was an older father and totally enamoured with his 5 year old son. I have grown up children and have no wish to become a step- mother to a five year old . I may sound harsh but I only tell it like it is. He told me that he felt the dating site was 'full of children who had too many sweets'. How right he is. Forgive me Chris but the night we chatted on Face book, I deleted you. Your words struck a chord with me and I did not want to lead you on.

My  dating  days are not all doom and gloom. I have had a lot of fun. A lot of challenges, which, I have stood up to and met. I am a 46 year old woman and seem only to attract younger guys. What is that about, the 'Mrs Robinson' tag? Most of the guys I dated were much fun, much younger and much more stupid than I could actually have the audacity to believe! I know, I know...how arrogant do I sound??? But I have to have my say. I need to put this whole mess to bed.

Sweet, sweet memories are the Beautiful Fire Chief who asked me to be his Dominatrix, The Professional Dancer who flipped me every way but up, The Fantastic Looking School Teacher who just loved his own reflection and The 'Mr Bill Gates' - awesome mind, no money! Oh and the other 17 or so!

It hasn't been a bad ten months. I am not feeling sorry for myself, but enough is enough. I am comfortable in my own skin and content that when I finally find what I have been searching for it will glow 'loud and proud' in front of me.

Be careful out there.

Muse x

Sweet, Sweet Sunshine.....

"Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy". My lovely friend Neil Martin posted that on FB a week ago. How right he is. I usually spend the winter in mourning for the sunshine. This winter has been a difficult one for me. Nope! I'm not having a whinge, just telling it like it is. I live in Bodmin, deliberately.... pretty far South but the bloody snow found me, the Arctic winds and stupidly low temperatures! Hello!!! I only live here, as anything North of Cheltenham (Donut Town) is far too cold for me. Yes I am a Southern Softy and proud of it. Throughout all my travels, I have pinged back to the West Country. It's my dad, you see....he hates the cold and has indoctrinated us, all five of his kids are sunshine worshippers.

So WHY? Am I living in the UK, I hear you ask. Simple really, I am a Northern Celt, I can deal with anything but heat 365/24/7 sits rather unnaturally with me. I love the seasons, love to garden (one handed|) and love to snuggle in the winter. Hummpphh, that is when we had seasons! But I am so grateful for the recent weather. I woke up and despite being ill with a bad sinus infection,  I dragged myself out to soak up those beautiful rays.

The world around me has changed, windows open, happy faces, people communicating, less road rage (honest.. she says) and lots of stripey red people! The Git has been very good, despite his weight, he has been drinking a lot of water, skateboarding, running, playing tennis and slapping on the sun cream.  We are all so content when the sun shines.

I have had a couple of great days with the boys. The Git and his mate Dan, built a barbecue out of bricks and delighted in doing so. I was on hand to give them 'Donut Child' advice. When the wind finally got the better of the BBQ, I broke out the little camping gas stove and the boys fried their own burgers. Soft rolls, ketchup and two little boys happily munching away. Bliss....

So WHY? like my father don't I want to emigrate to a sunnier place. The sunnier, erm much sunnier place is OZ. I suppose Cyprus, where I spent 13 years is a lost cause because of the huge development on the island and it is unrecognizable to me. I wish it had stayed the same, as all of us Donut children do.  Dad, Sian and James (daughter and son) want to live in OZ. Mum is not so sure. My lovely brother Greg and sister Jax have made a life in Oz. I think Greg was actually born an Australian, he has taken to it, like a duck to water. My lovely sis Jax is not so sure and still finding her feet.

I don't want to upset you Aussies out there but NO! NO! NO! I am a travelling Brit, not an Aussie! I am proud of my country, despite the difficult situation we find ourselves in. We may be a small Island but we (just) have a big voice. There are a few of us true  Brits around. Lets hope we have a great summer and get our act together. There is no better place to live.....admit it you ex-pats!

Be Careful out there.

Muse x

This Blog is dedicated to 'My Lovely Aunt Pauline'. She always looked after me as a child and is laying in a hospital waiting for a surgeon to operate on her smashed arm. I hope you have a talented surgeon, a wonderful anaesthetist and very sympathetic ward nurses.

Dream a little Dream....

I have been ensconced in a little 'Dream Land' this week. Last week I managed to fall UP the stairs and put stupid left arm out to save my fall. Not the best thing to do, hence my reliance on painkillers this week. I have been really good and have not taken any of the really serious ones for months. The last time I did, I had nasty clowns sat on the bottom of my bed. Oh man...that is more than enough to scare you off pain relief.

I admit to being a little worried when I first took them but it seems they only encroach upon my dreams and make me feel a little spacey during the day. Obviously, this is the lack of morphine, which I was imbibing back then. Thank Feck for that!

My dreams have been invaded by 'Grendels and Salmon' - nope.. I did not mis-spell them. Let me explain. I read the most fabulous Sci Fi book in my 20's called Legacy of Heorot by Pournelle, Niven and Barnes, all of them very famous Sci Fi writers. I suppose it was based on the Beowulf Legend. My son then read it in his teens and loved it.

Some 200 humans and a ship full of frozen animal embryo's arrive at a planet called Tau Ceti Four and set up a base on a small island next to a huge landmass. The planet is in its prehistoric stage with huge dinosaur like creatures roaming the mainland. The colony is a success.

They all live very basically and a few of the travellers have come out of their deep space sleep with some damage. It is frontier stuff. The detail is amazing and really makes you think about how we would survive on another planet. What would we take? How would we organize a new society? The book almost gives you the knowledge to do this. What happens after they establish a colony is unbelievable. They inadvertently wreck the Eco system with terrible consequences.

Hence, my dreams have been littered with Grendels and all sorts of fun. I feel as though I do not sleep at times. I am merely dealing with problems in another world. The Dutchman agrees with me. I suppose you have to have a restless mind to dream as much as I do. The thing is, those dreams stay with me the next day and I try and make sense of them.

Now here I am being brave...you can yell at me if you like, it's fine. Perhaps my mind has been so saturated with 'The Gov's' propaganda that it has found a leak, a way out and has followed it! We had the flipping election, yet the news channels are milking it like a pregnant sow. What? The Feck? is going on??

Okay, new society...re, Lib Dem/Tory's. They have all been woken from a deep sleep and I am sure that a few are damaged as a result. New legislation and perhaps a way forward. Trying to realise a new way of politics and the problems that it poses. I think that No 10 has become Cadman's Bluff (read the book). Placed on a hill where the Grendels cannot get us. The huge landmass is Europe and the Salmon are the MP's fighting each other and everyone around them...that is, before they morph into Grendels!

The Colony at Tau Ceti Four survived. The question is , will we ?

Take Care out there, you may come across some Grendels...

Muse x

PS I know I am bad but will someone please assassinate Ed Balls!

Time Travelling and Pashminas

I will apologise in advance for the subject matter of this Blog and my current mood. I really do not know what is wrong with me - I feel as though I ought to give myself a big kick in the pants, let me try and explain.

I am a toughie, I don't suffer fools gladly, know my own mind and usually go through life as a bit of a cynic. Actually, I am so wary that it is difficult to get near to me. Have I lost sight of my spiritual side? I do not mean organized religion. The cynical side of me says, stick 300 people in a plane and shake it up - result...300 people pray to their own God, whoever that may be. I am not an arrogant person, each to their own, but I distrust organized religion.

I am talking about my spirituality, being in touch with others; their thoughts, feelings and way of life. I have neglected this dreadfully and now find myself in a big black hole. This was brought home to me after a few recent occurrences in my life. They were not visions of Angels or anything like that. Just small things that have made me Muse about where I am .

The first, I have been dreaming about my grandfathers, both of them. I am one of the lucky few that dreams in technicolour, 3D and surround sound. I am usually, only visited in my dreams by my maternal grandfather but only when I am in need....hmmm! The other, Sam has never visited until recently. No doubt, you are reading this and thinking 'nutter' but who cares; It's My Blog and I'll Cry if I Want To!

Then I was watching an episode of Glee. All of you regular Blog readers know that I am a bit of a BBC4 girl and would rather pull my own nails out than watch something like this but I was challenged! It's a bit of a twisted version of Fame and I love it! So now I am a 'Gleek'! I watched last weeks episode and a very romantic duet between April and Will. I was in bits, sniffling into my pashmina. Bugger!! what the hell is the matter with me, I thought? I'm okay, I shrugged, nothing wrong with me...sniff, it's just an anomaly! Hummph. Grumpy girl rules.

I read a book a couple of years ago called The Time Travellers Wife. I then, picked it up again and reread it. It blew me away. It remains one of my favourite books of all time. I finally plucked up the courage tonight to watch the film and YES I know the film is crap compared to the book but I spent the entire duration sniffling into my pashmina...again! The Time Travellers Wife is about being happy in the moment. Accepting what is happening in your life and living it to the best of your ability.

I think it's time I rediscovered my spiritual side. This does not mean going to church on Sunday and chanting scripts that were placed in my head when I was 10 years old. It means thinking of those less fortunate, being grateful for all that I have and delighting in my family. Remembering that two school friends, the same age as me, have lost parents in the last few months and being so thankful that I still have mine.

So despite the impossibility of 'Time Travelling' it has a lesson to teach us all.

Namaste

Muse x

Folk On The Water and The Alchemy of Food.

I am going on a boat at the beginning of July, it will not make me seasick, I will not lose my horizon, as this boat is also known as a Barge. A gentle, small quiet thing. I am used to being towed behind big powerful boats, as a sea skier, not meandering through calm millpondish waters at the rate of 3 miles per hour.

The Dutchman has asked me to come aboard and feed people, which is something I am good at. Laying even the smallest table with love and care, making sure friends and strangers are comfortable with each other. Looking after all, in a small space, letting each one of them know they are special. Building and creating a dish from nothing.

Okay! scratch the record....If I were stranded on a Desert Island, what ingredients would I take with me? Easy; Oil, Garlic, Salt, Chilli. But, Oh Bugger, what if you were only allowed one...it has to be garlic as if you were on a Desert Island then salt would abound. Perhaps you may come across a chilli plant or two?? Then you could make some chilli oil. Not sure, but the possibilities are endless.

Here I am, agonising about what I should take with me. I am responsible for five days of decent food and am starting to collect a few bits and pieces. Every cook knows that a supply of fresh herbs will make all the difference to their pot. Flat leaf parsley, Lemon Thyme, Thyme, Rosemary and Mint are the very basics. Do I sacrifice the pink heels in order to carry on board a decent supply of fresh herbs? Should I bring the little camping stove as gas is much better than electric? Shall I just throw the hair dryer in the drink in order to bring, porcini mushrooms, sun dried tomatoes, a beautiful olive oil, a sweet raspberry vinegar??

The Dutchman has assured me that he will stock the barge with 'all the ingredients of a curry'...no offence but he's a bloke and does not understand these things! I have been shopping and finding little jars of sun dried tomatoes, porcini mushrooms and various herbs and spices. It is a bit like packing for a flight to Oz.

In my mind, I see myself as a welcoming hostess, looking fabulous, wearing a flattering straw hat. Picking wild flowers from the canal side (hmm...), putting them in jam jars and waving to all those that we pass, under the hot July sun.

No doubt I will be huddled in a waterproof, making hot, decent coffee for all on board and willing the sun to come out. It doesn't matter. What matters is this trip is for charity. 'Zoe's Place' who are currently building a new Children's Hospice at Exhall Grange, Warwickshire on the edge of Coventry. We will be on the Canal for 15 nights and every time we moor up, a local band will play a gig at the canal side venue to raise funds for 'Zoe's Place'.

So, please come and support us. You may have a laugh at my cut offs and wellies but who cares, this is for Zoe and we will all do our best.

Oh by the way, do NOT underestimate the Muse, she will practice her Alchemy and feed you all well.

http://www.youtube.com/user/FolkontheWat...
http://www.folkonthewater.com
http://twitter.com/folkonthewater
http://www.kateboats.co.uk/
http://www.bathplace.org/
http://www.canalsidecommunityfood.org.uk
http://www.bluelias.com/
http://www.thebridgeatnapton.co.uk/
http://www.newboldcomynarms.co.uk/
http://www.bighelp.biz
http://www.fayon.tv/index.html
http://www.keyworks.biz/
http://www.southallassociates.co.uk/
http://www.zoesplacemidlands.org.uk/
http://www.ellenmiller.co.uk
http://www.thefloydsound.com/
http://www.myspace.com/drummondmusic
http://www.myspace.com/avitalraz
http://www.myspace.com/borderlinecrossing
http://www.myspace.com/matthernandezflam...

Take Care Out there.

Muse x

Loitering With Intent.....

I was loitering around the news stand in the supermarket today, waiting for a moment when I could grab a Daily Mail, without others seeing me; scurrilous rag that it is - I only buy it for the crossword, honest... I had to laugh at the headline of that infamous comic, The Sun. 'Squatters at Number 10'. Hilarious. I did find myself feeling a bit sorry for Brown last week, not any more. Give it up chap, the party is over!

Whatever happens, my mind did its usual meandering on the subject of Government and the most interesting thing I could come up with was 'What could you tell a new Prime Minister about the job he was about to take on.

I was thinking about this last week. I had in my mind that when the Spams (that is Americans for all you non Donut children) leave office they take the lot with them. I suppose the Spams are famous for their paranoia so this makes sense but the reason why, was explained to me by a good friend.

The President of the USA is a Head of State and so his staff are his own. The Prime Minister is effectively the caretaker of the constitution and The Queen is our Head of State. Therefore he has a staff that remain in place to smooth the transition of Government and make sure Her Maj' does not have to reach for the migraine pills. Forgive me if I am preaching to those in the loop but for some reason I thought it was just a matter of policy between different countries. I feel so stupid some days.. why my brain refuses to make these links is beyond me.

I have been watching a repeat of a series called 'The Amazing Mrs Pritchard', it is about a supermarket worker who is voted in as PM, as the British People think her 'no nonsense' policies are the best they have heard in years. Watching her journey through the corridors of power, and her complete bewilderment is why I was musing about this transition period.

Apparently, what we have at No 10 is a team of Civil Servants, who are experienced enough to guide the new PM through his first few weeks until he manages to find his feet. Can you imagine what they have to tell him???

1.Here are your keys Sir. The big one is for the PM's washroom, the little one is for the Nuclear War MOD manual and the middle one is for the Red Telephone. You may have the key to the office fridge, when you make a payment into the petty cash box.

2. Please ensure you remember to shut the inner door of number 10, before proceeding to the Big Black one as we do not want lots of press taking pictures of the wife in her jammies or The Cabinet having a smoke on the sly.

3. When her Maj rings, please do not panic. She will wait a maximum of three minutes for you to get off the phone or finish greeting an Ambassador or two. When speaking to her, please remember that she is the Boss and you are her Cuckold.

4. Do not panic when one of your private secretaries enters your marital bedroom, uninvited. This is normal practice and they are quite used to seeing bad, hurried sex and will turn a blind eye to you struggling into your jammies.

5. The Americans are NEVER to be trusted, they are very practised in the art of story telling. Ensure they have a good supply of cookies and milk, the entire back catalogue of Enid Blyton books, The Book of Mormon and The St James' Bible. They will be quite happy reading stories and eating cookies. Oh! and don't forget Obama is a 40 a day bloke, ensure there are ashtrays everywhere. We strongly suggest that you put some sleeping pills in the FBI agents' drinks or they will keep you up all night stomping about No 10, looking for intruders.

6. Fill the Russians with Vodka and they might listen to you. Failing that, get the FBI lot to take them to the nearest lap dancing club and you might get four hours sleep.

7. The Germans are a bit of an enigma. Angie baby is a bit terrified of dogs so it is up to you whether you walk in with the family pet or introduce her to the Russians after a bottle of Vodka.

8. If President Sarkozy comes over from France, ensure the Wife is wearing trousers. Make sure he is kept under surveillance by the FBI guys, at all times, or there could be an unplanned pregnancy at Number 10.

9. The bloke in Italy, Giorgio Napolitano is a aficionado of Berlusconi, he is a bit of a commie but don't let that worry you. Napolitano will be happy with some pasta and a bottle of red. Berlusconi is much more difficult. Suggest you take advice on that one.

10. Do not worry about Clegg. He is employed by Gerry Anderson. He has previously been the pilot of Thunderbird 2 and 4. His amazing puppetry skills are held in awe by his fans. His wife is, judging by her dress sense, a fan of Bagpuss.

I am quite sure that this is only the tip of the volcano but it was a bit of fun. Tell me what you think the new PM ought to be told???

Be careful out there....we have no Government, which The Git thinks is rather cool....

Muse x

Messing With My Mind....

I was talking to The Dutchman the other night. We were doing our usual Monty Python take on life as we discussed the Prime Ministers recent faux pas. Thank goodness for a guy that makes me smile. Oh that's Dutch, not Gordon by the way. Whilst I am on the subject of our Gordon. If in doubt mate, don't bloody smile, I get worried that one of those 'Invasion of The Body snatchers' has buggered off with you!

Dutch has had a bit of bad news recently and explained to me that a high speed rail link was going to be built 200 yards from his meadow on a high concrete plinth. I expressed my sympathy, in the form of 'big barbed wire pants'....erm, sorry this is how silly our humour gets. Anyway, this led to a discussion about whether the rail link would be built for people or freight. We both agreed that by the time it reared its ugly plinth, it would be freight...or should be.

My dozy, underused brain then kicked in. 'Hang on Dutch, shouldn't we all be sat at home, in our Jammie's, working from our home offices by then?' said I ' Erm actually WHY aren't we working from home NOW in our Jammie's?' The train (oops.. pardon the pun) of thought tailed off as the rusty cogs of my mind whirred. Why are we still commuting to work?

Dutch reminded me of the facts. A few years ago, if you had been intent on working from home and establishing a home office you would have had to apply for 'change of use', planning permission from the Great God Planning Department. Apparently a Government directive was sent out some time ago to the relevant Planning Offices, decreeing that, if anyone were to apply for that particular change of use, the Planning Office should turn a blind eye, as this was to be encouraged.

Finding my brain at last I asked Why? this had not been taken further. 'Our current Internet would not be able to support the demand that was placed on it' said he. I could not believe this. I questioned him. 'Why not, that is ridiculous, this is 2010 and I can talk to anyone in the world, that is utterly bonkers!' No, he is right. I mean if people buying tickets for Glastonbury/V Festival etc...etc can crash the Net then it seems that our Internet in this country is in its infancy.

Being a technophobe I assumed that our WWW was so new and shiny that we did not have the 'technology' and would have to wait some years before we caught up with North Korea. Apparently not. It is perfectly possible to do this now. We can work from home, we CAN go to Tesco in our Jammie's, we don't have to hang out of attic window, dangling the Orange Dongle. The ISP's of this nation are 'Having a Laugh'! Money grabbing Bastards!

We can bypass the phone lines and use our mains power supply instead. Think how much simpler that would make things. Now far be it for me to engage you in matters technical as I am a bit of a blondie but really!!!! how long is this crap going to go on? I may be over simplifying but as I understand it, the modems we would have to use to make this viable would be more expensive but smack that expense against your petrol, parking, train tickets (sorry Dutch), childcare, lunches, psychiatrist bills and it becomes nothing. Zero, Zilch, Nada!

Problem is, my mind now refuses to give up on this. Being a good Donut child, I should not be thinking about what the Government would lose in, Petrol, VAT, congestion charge etc...etc... but that is but a very small part of it. Somehow I can't let it go. Let me put a different spin on this. I have Blogged about the fantastic revolution the WWW has brought about and one of the quotes I used was "Internet: absolute communication, absolute isolation.". My Blog explored how we, as a society, might deal with that technology but I think it runs much deeper than that.

If we were to work from home, be more flexible, more forward thinking and less institutionalised then I believe a brighter society would develop. Don't panic, I am not on LSD (can't get the stuff these days anyway, she sniffs) and my name is not Huxley but when you really think about it this could be fantastic for us. To be free of the terrible 9 to 5 responsibility that drives our too short lives could be a revelation.

I am not trying to preach to you, just hoping to make you think and embrace new ideas. No doubt many of us would take our Jammie's very seriously, get hooked on daytime TV and do no work. Some of us would lament at not being able to snog the office hottie and photocopy our bums at the Christmas shindig. Adulterous office magnets would be made to behave as the beady eyes of their children would be upon them.

Others would be able to choose their lifestyle without having to bugger off to Oz, France (never understood that myself). Yes, yes, I can hear you shouting from here, I have now got myself in an awful lot of hot water. Doesn't hurt to think though....does it?? Now think about it and engage! I would love to hear your thoughts.

Be Careful Out There

Muse x

PS Will someone please delete the exclamation mark on my keyboard. I am dreadfully drawn to the damn thing!