Fleas, Flu and Flagellation!

I am aware that I am supposed to be blogging about all things amusing such as handbags, contents thereof; and of course funny foibles on Facebook. Not in the mood, so not in the mood. We have flu in the House of Muse, also Cat Fleas (little evasive bastards) and a broken Kindle. Grumpy does not even go near how I'm feeling at the moment. Have a word with yourself girl and get on with it.

I watched a documentary tonight called 'No Impact Man'. Bit of a stupid title but respect to the guy, (and his long suffering spoiled brat wife) as he stuck out a year of sustainable living in the middle of New York.  Worth a watch.  I think he was probably naive at best and a bit daft at worst.

I've been thinking about Lent over the last couple of days. Twitter was awash with it. Stupid ignorant people twatting on about what they were going to give up. Now, am I a bit simple in the grey matter department (told you I was grumpy) or is this the endish of February? Have we all had Christmas, gone on diets/ given up alcohol, fags/ tortured ourselves at the gym or am I delusional? So WHY do we need to do it all over again? I have no problem with the 'God Squad' getting out a bit of rose bush and flagellating themselves with it. On a kinder note, if you have FAITH in yourself, others, God or someone else's God then good luck to you. I was brought up as a Catholic and how I hated it. All that guilt, I must have been 35 before I managed to get rid of it all. I digress, what I'm trying to say is Lent is a religious festival so why are you trying to give up chocolate etc... ad nauseum for forty days. Will we see 'Happy Lent Day' cards next? I am completely bewildered....

Oh dear....just a click and I found one. Deep breath. So we have two extremes here. Giving up your G & T for forty days and nights (that sounds much more challenging) or giving up your entire lifestyle for a year. The Muse household needs a bit more self control, a little less judgement and a tad more love. In the immortal words of Twitter #justsayin....

Those that can DO and those that can't TWEET!

I have a question. If your married or living together what do you do about Social Networking? I don't know anything about this because I live alone (well not alone, but with child) and have noticed that living together has changed rather a lot since my days of being tolerant of another. I know several married couples who are keen about social networking. There's nothing wrong with that is there? Actually there is. It's been troubling me for a while and a couple of conversations I've seen on Twitter recently have just underlined what I have been thinking all along.

I know a couple who have been happily married for 30 odd years. They both work full time and in the evenings they like to play games with each other on Facebook. Quite normal behaviour, you would think. Except its not because she sits in the living room, feet up with her laptop and he sits in the attic surrounded by PC paraphernalia. They constantly comment on their scores and on other friends pages, but separately. Great fun for the odd evening but they do this night after night. Can they be happy living together in cyber space? Maybe that's how they preserve their marriage. I'm not judging, merely pointing out that the dynamic of marriage or partnership in this Cyber age is changing rapidly.

The conversation on Twitter that got my attention was one about passwords, computer passwords. Two couples argued that it was perfectly fine to be on Twitter because they both knew each others passwords and god forbid that they would ever go to that dangerous place called Facebook. It just made me realise that both of these couples were on Twitter pretty much all evening and talking to various people on their phones and not each other. This also begs the question, do you do or do you Twitter? Or the old adage. Those that can do and those that can't Twitter. How much of the moment do you experience  and enjoy before spoiling it and whipping out your phone to Tweet thereby missing half the experience.

I think a few people will probably unfollow me on Twitter when they read this but I'm not trying to be critical, just trying to point out that's its easy to get too involved in social networking without realising it. Many Tweeters have decided that Facebook is the Devils work and Twitter is safe 'coz my missus is on there' Facebook and Twitter are just the same. Twitter just moves faster. Facebook is not going to twist your arm behind your back and make you have an affair - that's up to you.

Time for me to get off my soapbox. All I'm saying is think about how much time you spend in the moment and how much time you spend talking about it. I can't tell you how to run your relationship but ask yourself am I married or am Borg like and part of the collective? On a lighter note there is one couple on Twitter that make me smile. Andy and Niamh tweet to their friends AND argue in a tongue in cheek way as to who is going to make the tea. Now that's what I call a positive cyber marriage!

Bollock Drizzle and Snot.

Here I am at last. Honestly, the minute I get going on the Blog again the common cold has felled me like an Elm tree in Holland. I have very sneakily avoided a cold for the last four years. I have done this by having B12 injections every three weeks, doctors orders, and behaving in a belligerent and stroppy manner toward my fellow man. This involves interrogating anyone suspected of harbouring germs or shooting daggers of molten lava at anyone who dares sneeze in my direction.

I spent years being poleaxed by Other Peoples Germs (OPG's) and decided to fight back by making a conscious decision to avoid OPG's and keep myself well. The bad behaviour started with the purchase of many pashminas AKA scarves that you can use to open doors, clutch shopping trolleys and provide a barrier between you and the germs. I didn't care if someone sneezed near me and saw me cover my face , ninja like with my pashmina. Don't look at me like that I'm making sure you don't infect me! In fact don't even glance in my direction you snot filled disgusting plague carrier! Another handy tool I discovered was anti bac hand gel. I found this very useful when using those yukky, shit smeared, Ebola pools that we know as Cashpoints. Germpoints more like. I mean, am I the only one who sees a bloke in the queue in front of me adjust his nads and then proceed to use the cashpoint!!!!! How dare you leave your Bollock Drizzle all over the buttons.  So if you are behind me in the queue please be patient whilst I  scrabble in my handbag, produce gel, and smear it all over the cashpoint, buffing to a gentle shine with a clean hanky. Only then can I bear to use them.

I can actually be even more badly behaved than that. I went to the health food shop to buy some glucosamine the other day. The shop assistant looked like something out of Survivors. Her red nose dripped menacingly, her eyes pools of broken veins, a snotty tissue hung limply from her sleeve. 'Can I help you' she rasped. Quick as a flash I whipped my pashmina over my face and made like a ninja. She gave me a really dirty look. It was all I could do not to yell at her 'Unclean' and make a cross sign with my arms. I apologised saying that I would die if she gave me her cold. I was lying through my teeth of course, but how dare she turn up for work infested with germs and expect me to touch her goods. Blimey that sounds a bit rude but you know what I mean. She got the pills and tried to give them to me. Forgive me, but I couldn't do it, I couldn't take it off her. At that point I nearly bolted and ran screaming from the shop. 'Oh for goodness sake' she muttered. She opened her drawer pulled out some anti bac gel and smeared it all over the pill bottle and banged it down on the counter. I threw a fiver at her and without waiting for my change picked up the offending bottle (with my pashmina) and ran out of the shop to the nearest bin where I chucked it!  Erm...don't think I'll be shopping there anytime soon.

There is a flip side to this. I am not a hypocrite. Having my first cold in four years has made me realise that I am contaminated and I will do my utmost to ensure I do not infect you with my feculent fever. I will not shake your hand or kiss you or breathe in your general direction. I promise to avoid you and become hermit like until all bacteria has left my system. Now please do the same for me!

Donut Child finally grows up !

I spent the other night doing something very painful but horribly necessary. I had to switch to the new Blogger interface. Well I say 'new' but I've been avoiding it for a year. In order to make the new template work properly, I had to delete the side bar on Donut Child. There was no simple way to do this and I had to delete each post separately. It was like having two years of my life flash before my eyes! Deleting each picture, quote or words of wisdom caused me physical pain. I was so sad to see it all consigned to the great cyber space in the sky. But it's done now and I feel light and free, able to Blog about the important stuff and not spend an hour on the sidebar, stressing as to whether the bar aligned with the Blog okay. I know a lot of you loved the side bar but it just wasn't sustainable and if I 'm going to grow up as a Blogger I need to move on. I'll still Blog about lighthearted stuff (I need to finish up the A to Z of Facebook for instance) and I'm still mucking about with colour schemes etc... but with nearly 1,000 people a month reading this I'm trying to make it more user friendly and easier to read on a mobile. I want to include this old photo from the sidebar though as it was my favourite and I'm sure you will agree...

 Its a 10 year old Joshy with Amos on Folk on The Water learning to play a Dulcimer. Awww! I have also become a member of BlogHer and a very nice Graphic Designer has offered to design a Donut Child logo for me. Phew, its all happening!

I need to ask for  something from you dear reader. My old Blog interface made it very hard for readers to follow this Blog but the new version should be easier. So if you read this on a regular basis then please help me by becoming a follower. You can do this by entering your email in the box at the top right of this Blog. I'd be really grateful. I'm very proud to have been Blogging for two and a half years now, so thanks for reading and keep up the good work! x